Archive for July, 2012

Yes is only the beginning

There were quite a few words, but the only ones I really heard and remember now are “charter”, ” you”, and finally when I picked my jaw up off the floor and asked if this was for real, something approximating “yes.” Despite the elation I felt at that moment, any satisfaction I might have felt at having grabbed that brass ring almost immediately disappeared. There are new rings to reach for.

I tried out for my league’s travel team in February when I first transferred in. My skills were rusty, my training was inadequate, I was out of shape and I felt over my head in league practices, but doing all the tryout drills with the team was a great experience. I didn’t make it, but was encouraged to come back next time. I kept working and training, got lucky that I didn’t get injured, and tried again. This time, miraculously, I made it – and the charter, to boot.

Being put on my league’s charter for this quarter feels like I’ve been given a gift, albeit a “free as in puppies” sort of gift. All squirmy and leaky and in need of much care and feeding and cleanup. And now that I’ve brought it home, of course the weight of it all sets in. It’s a huge responsibility as well as an opportunity, and I am a bit terrified, but determined not to let it go to waste. What if I can’t hang? What if I’m always this slow, this–no, stop.

I’m making a series of promises to myself, focused around training my brain and body for this new chapter in my derby life:

1) Do at least one thing that scares me, every practice. Right now, I think transitions are the thing I need the most work on, and at a normal derby pace. Makes me want to get out on the ice to remind myself how to do mohawks and step outs. hmm…

2) Never, ever let myself get away with saying “I can’t”. Shut that crap off, every time. And don’t let others get away with it, either. It doesn’t do any of us any good.

3) Compare myself only to my own expectations and past performance, no one else. I am the only one I need to beat. Every day, every lap, every practice.

4) Make plan, work the plan, and plan for both rest and relaxation as well as training.

I guess I don’t have anything more profound to say at this point, other than BRING IT ON. I’m so ready for this.